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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Home Wrecker

So tonight I drove through town to pick up dinner.
We had ordered organic salads with free range chicken topped with raw goat cheese.

*Snort*

I can't even type that with a straight face.

Pizza night.

Anyway, I was driving to pick up the pizza when I became a homewrecker.

There are these certain birds that are here in Idaho. I'd never seen them before we moved here. They don't fly much (if at all), but you often see them walking by the roadside. They are unique because they stick together as a family. Always an adult couple, followed by a little line of babies. The mama and daddy team up to keep their little ones in line.

I'm sure you can predict what I'm about to tell you.

I killed a mama.
Or maybe a daddy.

Oh, I felt so awful. In my rearview I could see the mate go running over to it's partner in sympathy, while he or she flopped on the road.
I kind of want to cry just typing this.

I'm sorry bird and bird family. It's just that you ran right under my car and I couldn't avoid you.
If I could go back, I would have cooked dinner tonight so you could have lived to see another day.

Well, I think I would.
It was good pizza.

Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. If you never want to visit my blog again, I will understand.

I wrote a short poem in honor of the fallen fowl. Please follow it with a moment of silence.


I hit you today while I was driving.

Before I needed dinner, you were thriving.

I wish I had hit something else instead.

Maybe an animal that was already dead.

I made your mate a widow.

And I cried out "Oh no!"

I hope when you were flopping you were fakin'

Or I'll get indigestion from my pizza topped with bacon.


Sincerely,
Penitent Bird Killer in Mountain Home



ps. I tried to find a picture of the type of bird I may or may not have murdered with the Corolla, but I couldn't find one. I did find this though.

14 comments:

Erin said...

Was it this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killdeer?

We used to have those nest in our driveway in Michigan.

Jaime said...

I hate birds. Any and all kinds. Especially Grackels. But I still felt a twinge of sadness for the spouse. Shame on you for not cooking! I kid...

I'm Erin. said...

Erin, no that's not it. I'm thinking it's some type of pheasant.

Or it *was* some type of pheasant.

Christina said...

Oh dear. That is sad, but...we must drive, right?
When I was younger (maybe even a teen, 18 or so?) I was driving a friend's car and a bird flew right into the windshield and bounced off. It was a big bird, too. I freaked out, started crying, it was awful. Killing something is just no fun. (Unless it's a roach.) I'm sorry for this experience.
You can write a mean poem, though!

thelumberjackswife said...

Oh, too sad. :( Nice poem, though.

Anonymous said...

My guess is that you will find that it is a quail. Should have picked it up they are good to eat

Love Dad

Karen said...

I clicked on your link--"bushtit". I'm still giggling. I guess I'm as "mature" as you are! and I was feeling like the world's worst mom--it's amazing how quickly guilt can come upon moms--when you wrote your original menu of organic food. But then I let out a big sigh of relief when you said what you were really having!

Proverbs 31 Wannabe said...

Sorry you may or may not have killed a bird but your family's gotta eat. Those birds were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I laughed at you link. Too funny!

Joyce said...

Oh that is sad. Birds need to be in the air, not on the road. Not saying it was his fault or anything but it kinda was.

for a second I was totally impressed by your take out order, thinking, wow-I wish we could get takeout like that here.

I'm behind on reading so read back a few....I love the ear piercing episode. Girls do love their drama don't they?

Via said...

You know, it's just not our fault that birds have such small brains ;) Once, and I kid you not, I was playing fetch with my dog...I hit the tennis ball with a bat, and ball hit a bird in mid-flight and killed it. ...but, I guess I can't blame the bird on that one!

Ambre said...

*GASP* You killed a quail!?! It happens. Next time, try for one of those lovely squirrels. ;)

Trey and Mel's Piece of the Net! said...

I had a similar incident with a deer. There was a mama and a baby on one side of the road and a baby on the other side. I slowed down but the single baby ran right out under my front tire, then my back tire. I just stopped driving and ended up in the ditch hysterically crying and watching, in my rearview mirror, as the mama licked the baby as it tried to get up but eventually stopped moving. A couple of guys stopped to make sure I was ok and one of them hopped in my truck to drive me home (40 Km, which you would understand if you were still going to Canada) while the other one followed. I cried for days. It was horrible. Poor baby.

NF - C&T said...

bushtit! hahahah...still laughing

NF - C&T said...

bushtit! hahahah...still laughing